This story is about a teenage girl who lost her father. She struggles with overcoming this unbearable loss alongside exploring her sexuality. It was a moving book that realistically portrayed teenage grief, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
The number of times that book made me cry was unreal. Stark, raw pain was described so well, especially through the thought process of the main character, Biz. It was believable. Her healing process, and the fact that it actually took time for her to take steps towards it, was incredible. Honestly the most accurate depiction of the teen psyche that I’ve read so far. I especially liked that at the end of the book, all wasn’t well. It wasn’t an ending, not really. The reader was given the privilege to imagine the rest of her journey. That just made it all the more realistic.
The basic framework or skeleton of the plot, if looked at without the descriptions, was slow. But it never felt like that. I found that it was paced perfectly and I was so intrigued. The quotes were stunning. I must’ve highlighted most of the book.
How it feels to float is perfect for people coping with grief. It makes one feel so seen. Like struggles are normal, and that it’s okay to take time to heal. It’s okay if life doesn’t bounce back and return to the same routine immediately. Or ever, even. A change like that is drastic, nothing is the same anymore. Fox put that idea through so well. The idea that Biz was dissociating and hallucinating her father was also interesting. Such a different take on grief.
Biz could be anyone and no one at the same time. Anyone could relate and no one could at the same time. Her character was just crafted so well. I like that she wasn’t defined by her grief. She was so much more than that. Because when you lose somebody, you feel like your life has come to a standstill. But it hasn’t, not really. A life beyond your brain exists. Biz watches everyone move forward and she feels like she’s stuck, but then she moves forward and finds someone who loves her unconditionally, and bit by bit, she gets through. I really like that it was platonic love that she encountered, instead of romantic love. What also made me happy was that even though she found this person, she did not automatically get better. She still struggled. Grief does not change even when you find someone new. It’s exists, always. I can draw so many parallels to real life. It sends the message that grief cannot be solved by finding another person to latch onto. You alone can help yourself overcome grief. I love it. I have no negative comments on this book. Not one.
This book is so close to my heart. I could re-read it forever. I definitely consider it a work of art.
Here are some of my favorite quotes (possible spoiler warning):
“There’s never enough time. Actually, there’s too much and too little, in unequal parts. More than enough of time passing but not enough of the time passed.”
“I often think of a bubble when I think of Dad. He’s sort of see-through, but when he talks about Mum, or me as a baby, his colors fill out.”
“He’s a part of a wall you’ve needed to repaint for years but can never find the time.”
“I am dead in infinite alternate universes. I am mostly and most likely dead. I am dead, now, here. All doors opening, all doors closed.”
“One moment, a mountain. The next, the land slipping out. A mess of falling trees and scars”
“I’ll be a woman: split inside but so whole.”